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How to Cope with Emotional Moments

Excerpt from the Art of Power by Thich Nhat Hanh

This is a simple practice, but it’s effective. You’re aware that an emotion is only an emotion. It’s just a small part of your whole being. You are much more than your emotion. An emotion comes, stays for a while, and goes away, just like a storm. If you’re aware of that, you won’t be afraid of your emotions. Many young people don’t know how to handle their emotions, and they suffer greatly.

They believe the only way to end the suffering is to kill themselves. There are many young people who commit suicide simply because they don’t know how to handle their emotions. Yet it’s not difficult. It’s helpful to know that an emotion is just an emotion, and that you are much more than your emotions, which come, stay awhile, and go. Why should you die because of an emotion?

When you focus your attention on your abdomen for fifteen or twenty minutes and take refuge in the practice, your emotion will subside. Then you’ll feel peaceful and happy because you know there’s a way to handle your emotions. You know that next time an emotion arises, you can do exactly the same thing. When you’ve practiced and you have confidence in the practice, you can help someone who is close to you when they are overwhelmed by a strong emotion.

You might say, “Come and sit by my side. Take my hand. Let us practice mindful breathing and pay attention to the rise and fall of our abdomens.” Holding that person’s hand, you can convey your strength and confidence. The two of you will be breathing in and out together. Fifteen or twenty minutes later, she will feel all right. In the future she can do it by herself.

Teaching a friend how to practice like that may save her life later on. I advise you not to wait until a strong emotion comes before beginning the practice. You’ll surely forget to do it. Learn it right now. Practice fifteen minutes every day. Sit or lie in a stable position and practice mindful breathing. Enjoy your in-breath and your out-breath, and focus your attention on the abdomen. Belly breathing can be very deep, very slow, and very powerful.

If you continue doing this for three weeks, you’ll develop the right practice. Then, when a strong emotion arises, you’ll remember the practice and you will succeed in soothing your emotion. Each time, your emotion becomes a little less powerful. You don’t have to fight; you just allow the energy of mindfulness to embrace your emotion. Then it will weaken and go back to the depths of your consciousness.

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