The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is a small book with a very sharp message: most of our frustration in life comes from “agreements” we unknowingly make with ourselves and others. Ruiz offers four new agreements that simplify life, reduce emotional noise, and help you act with clarity.
Here’s a clean, practical summary of each:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Your words create your inner world. When you use them carelessly—gossip, self-criticism, exaggeration—you weaken yourself.
Being “impeccable” means:
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Speak honestly, without harming yourself or others
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Avoid talking against yourself (“I can’t”, “I’m useless”)
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Use your word to encourage, not poison
This is the foundation because once your speech becomes clean, your mind follows.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Other people’s actions come from their beliefs, wounds, fears, and stories—not you.
When you take things personally, you hand over your emotional control.
This agreement teaches:
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Don’t internalize insults or praise
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Don’t make assumptions about intent
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Protect your peace by refusing emotional bait
Freedom grows when you stop letting others’ opinions define you.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Assumptions create unnecessary drama and disappointment.
Most conflicts happen because people fill in gaps with their own imagination.
The antidote:
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Ask questions directly
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Communicate clearly instead of guessing
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Don’t assume others know what you want
Clarity prevents resentment.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your “best” changes day to day depending on energy, health, stress—so this agreement is about consistency, not perfection.
When you do your best:
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You avoid self-judgment and regret
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You build momentum and self-respect
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You make steady progress without burning out
It’s not about being the best; it’s about sincere effort.
Overall message
These four agreements act like a mental detox.
They help you:
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Reduce emotional suffering
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Respond instead of react
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Live with more self-respect and less friction
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Break old conditioning and build new habits
They sound simple, but practicing them is a daily discipline. Even applying one agreement consistently can shift how you feel and how people respond to you.
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